“I’m Burning Out But Slowing Down Might End My Career”

Money Dilemmas is where we talk about the tricky stuff - the conversations about money that live in the grey area between love, power, fairness, and everything in between.Each story starts with a real member dilemma, the kind many of us have quietly wrestled with but rarely said out loud. Because money isn’t simply transactional; it’s about what we value, what we tolerate, and what we’re taught to accept.And at the end of every story, one of our co-founders weighs in — offering her two cents and best advice on how to navigate the dilemma.

The Dilemma

I am in my mid twenties and I work at a top management consulting firm. Back in high school I wasn’t dreaming of consulting.

I was just trying to get into Oxford and doing what everyone around me seemed to expect. When I got in, it felt like proof that all the hard work meant something, so I kept going.

At university, consulting slowly became the thing people like me were supposed to aim for. It was competitive, prestigious and seemed like the next logical step after years of pushing myself academically.

I did the internships. I joined the societies. I studied endlessly for the interview process.

When I finally got the offer, it felt like everything I had been working toward since I was sixteen had finally landed somewhere.I have been here for five months.

Parts of the job are exciting. The pace, the responsibility, the feeling of working on something that matters. And I love how proud my friends and family are when I tell them where I work. It makes all the sacrifices feel worthwhile.

But I had no idea it would be this hard.

Not in this way. I wake up tired and go to sleep wired. It is basically expected that you work until after midnight Monday to Wednesday. People say it jokingly, but no one actually treats it like a joke.

Every project lasts a few months and then your performance is formally reviewed.

Those reviews decide everything: what projects you get, how people perceive you, whether you are on track or quietly falling behind.

My feedback so far has been somewhere in the middle. Not bad. Not great.

Comments like you do good work, but you need to show more stamina. It leaves me constantly wondering if I am slightly below where I should be.

Everyone signs up for this system and none of it is a surprise. I knew what I was getting into. But what I did not expect was how quickly I would feel out of my depth.

What unsettles me is that no one seems to question any of it. It feels like this collective agreement that suffering is normal.

I am also the main earner in my relationship right now.

My partner is studying and working part time, and since we are not married, there is no real safety net if something happens to my job. That adds a very real pressure to keep going.

At the same time, the thought that keeps coming up is how tempting it would be to quit and work in a café for a year.

Just make coffee, have normal hours, see friends in the evenings. It feels peaceful in a way my current life does not.

But then I think about money.

About my student loans.

About the fact that a café salary would barely touch them.

And about how devastated I might be in a year if I walked away from a job that could change my entire future.

But pushing forward scares me too.

I can feel myself fraying around the edges. I worry I will hit a point where I cannot come back from it.

I feel trapped between two losses. Staying and burning out.

Leaving and throwing away everything I have worked for since I was a teenager. I genuinely do not know which fear is bigger.

Camilla’s Take

When I read your dilemma, the thing that really stayed with me was how long you have been pushing yourself.

Not just these past few months, but really since you were sixteen and trying to get into Oxford.

It sounds like you have spent most of your life moving from one mountain to the next, barely pausing in between.

So of course stopping feels frightening.

It is the only pace you have ever known.And I want to say this clearly. There is nothing wrong with you for struggling.

This environment would drain almost anyone. Exhaustion is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign that the expectations placed on you are unrealistic, even if everyone pretends otherwise.

I have worked in high intensity environments where everyone looked fine on the outside. Later you learn that many of them were barely holding on.

So please do not assume you are the only one feeling this way.

You mentioned the fantasy of working in a café for a year. I understand that completely. When life becomes too dominated by pressure, the idea of simple work and predictable hours can feel like relief.

I do not think this fantasy means you want to abandon everything you have built.

I think it means you are tired.

And your mind is trying to imagine a life where your nervous system can breathe again. But the practical concerns you raised matter.

Leaving after five months would look unusual in your industry. Paying off your student loans on a café salary would be incredibly hard.

And it is understandable that you are afraid of wasting the years of work that got you here.

Those fears are not shallow.

They are real.

At the same time, I have to say something I learned the hard way.

When you push yourself too hard, your body eventually says stop for you. And coming back from that point is incredibly difficult.

I know it sounds basic, but there is nothing more important than your health.

Truly nothing.

If you ignore what your body is telling you now, the cost later will be far greater. Please take care of yourself.

You asked whether slowing down would sabotage your future.

I think the better question is whether continuing exactly as you are gives you a sustainable future at all.

You do not have to decide today whether consulting is forever. But you do need to protect the version of you who has carried this ambition for years.

That person deserves care, not collapse.

It might help to explore options between the extremes. Is there a senior colleague you trust enough to speak with confidentially?

Could you aim for a slightly lighter project next cycle?

These options are rarely advertised, but sometimes they exist if you ask early enough.

And remember, what other people think of you is none of your business.

Your manager’s private opinions, your colleagues’ assumptions, the imaginary chorus of judgement.

None of that belongs to you.

It cannot be the basis for a decision that affects your health and your life.

If you eventually decide that this job is not for you, please do not treat that as failure.

You got into an incredible university. You landed one of the most competitive jobs in the world. Think of how many people chase that path and never reach it.

Even if you walk away, that achievement remains yours.

It does not disappear. And choosing a different life is not giving up. It is recognising that success is not one narrow path.

Once you get past this immediate exhaustion, give yourself time to think about what you actually want.

What gives you energy.

What lights something inside you.

Not what society calls prestige. Not what looks shiny from the outside.

Take a chance on yourself. Step off the path if you need to.

Do not just follow it like a fish in a stream.

I say this with love, because I have had that tendency myself. And I wish someone had told me this when I was younger.

What do you think?

Please share your thoughts in the comments.

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