I Want to Freeze My Eggs But I Can’t Afford It Without Borrowing From My Parents

Money Dilemmas is where we talk about the tricky stuff - the conversations about money that live in the grey area between love, power, fairness, and everything in between.

Each story starts with a real member dilemma, the kind many of us have quietly wrestled with but rarely said out loud.

Because money isn’t simply transactional; it’s about what we value, what we tolerate, and what we’re taught to accept.

And at the end of every story, one of our co-founders weighs in — offering her two cents and best advice on how to navigate the dilemma.

The Dilemma:

I’m 34 and single, and after years of going back and forth I’ve finally reached a point where freezing my eggs feels like the right step.

It comes from wanting options and wanting some control over my future. Dating in your thirties feels like a part-time job with no structure, no guarantees and a level of emotional admin I never signed up for.

I’m tired of pretending things will just fall into place on their own.

The problem is the cost.

It’s incredibly expensive, and while I can cover part of it, the full amount is out of reach.

It feels strange to finally feel clear about what I want and then realise the financial side might be the only thing standing in the way.

My parents could help. They’ve mentioned it before. But their support often comes with comments that feel judgemental.

My mum has said things like, “If you put as much effort into meeting someone as you do into work, you wouldn’t need to freeze anything.” She doesn’t see it as criticism, but it lands that way every time.

If I take money from them, I know there will be opinions, guilt and questions I don’t want to answer. I’ve worked hard to build my independence, and asking them for something this personal feels complicated on a level that goes far beyond money.

At the same time, this choice matters to me.

I don’t want to look back and realise I avoided something important because I was afraid of needing help.

Now I’m stuck in the middle. Do I hold on to my independence and risk losing time, or ask for support and accept that it may come with emotional noise I’d rather avoid?

Camilla’s Take

There is a real honesty in what you wrote, and many women will recognise themselves in your situation.

You are trying to make a thoughtful decision about your future while also dealing with the old family dynamics that show up the moment you imagine asking for help.

That mix can feel heavy and confusing.

Your parents’ comments clearly affect you.

Even when you feel steady in your decisions, small remarks have a way of unsettling you and adding pressure to something already emotional.

I understand the instinct to manage everything on your own. I’ve had periods of my life where I tied my worth to how much I could carry without leaning on anyone.

It can feel protective, even when it also becomes exhausting.

What stands out is that you seem very clear about what you want.

The uncertainty sits around everything attached to the money, not the choice itself.

When I imagine your future self looking back, I see someone who will care more about having preserved this option than about the discomfort of asking for support.

If you do involve your parents, you can be straightforward about the kind of support you need and the kind of commentary you don’t have the capacity for right now.

Saying, “I’m choosing this, and I would appreciate your help without judgement,” is completely reasonable.

They may still have their own reactions, but you won’t be without agency in the situation.

And finally, I know this is easier said than done, especially with parents, but one piece of advice I often think about is this: what other people think of you is none of your business.

Even if you explain your reasoning and set a boundary, they may still have opinions and judgements. That belongs to them.

Try, as much as you can, not to let it shape your sense of worth or pull you away from something that matters to you.

Accepting help does not erase the independence you’ve built.

You have created your life through your own work and resilience.

This is simply one of those moments where giving yourself every possible chance matters more than maintaining the idea that you must always stand alone.

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