The Invisible Shift - When Strength Starts to Feel Different

One night I woke up at 3am with my heart racing, anxious for no reason I could name.

I’d always been the kind of person who thrived under pressure, whether it was in business, in personal crises, or in everyday life.

But suddenly, in my mid-forties, I didn’t recognise myself.

What I didn’t know then was that I had entered perimenopause - a stage that millions of women experience, yet few of us are prepared for or even know exists.

When Pushing Through Stops Working

For most of my life, I’ve handled challenges by moving forward.

That’s how I’ve always operated.

When things got hard - personally or professionally - focused, worked harder, and found a way through. It had always given me strength and direction.

But then something changed.

I still had the same drive and energy, but my mind no longer felt steady.

I began overthinking things I used to trust myself with completely - small doubts creeping into places where confidence used to live.

The calm self-belief I’d built over decades started to slip, replaced by a constant hum of worry that I couldn’t turn off.

I wasn’t burned out or exhausted. I just didn’t feel like myself — and I didn’t understand why.

The Weight of Everything at Once

Around the same time, life threw more at me than I ever could have imagined.

A divorce that dragged on for years. Watching my closest friend lose her battle with cancer. And then a professional collapse that changed everything.

I had taken in the wrong partner to my agency - someone who later committed fraud - and it forced me to close down the business I had built over 15 years.

It was devastating, financially and emotionally.

Losing something I had poured so much of myself into was one of the hardest things I’ve experienced.

With fluctuating hormones layered on top of grief, stress, and loss, my usual ways of coping simply stopped working.

Sleep became irregular, worry more intense, and I often felt disconnected from myself - like my inner compass was off

Sleep became irregular, worry more intense, and I often felt disconnected from myself - like my inner compass was off.

Seeing the Pattern

At first, I thought it was just stress. I had every reason to feel worn out - a business collapse, court cases, grief, and responsibility on all fronts.

But something felt different. It wasn’t just pressure; it was like my system was wired differently.

My mind felt foggy, my sleep unpredictable, and I didn’t trust my own reactions anymore.

I remember lying awake at night, completely exhausted, but unable to calm my body down. The smallest decisions felt bigger than they should.

My confidence — something I’d always relied on - felt like it was slipping, and I couldn’t explain why.

My confidence - something I'd always relied on - felt like it was slipping, and I couldn't explain why

Only later did I start realising that this wasn’t just “being stressed.”

It was hormonal.

The early stages of perimenopause don’t always announce themselves with physical changes - often they start quietly, as subtle shifts in mood, sleep, and focus.

For me, it was like my mind was running faster than my body could follow.

And while I now understand more about the biology behind it - how fluctuating hormones affect everything from energy to confidence - what really struck me was how it clashed with my own expectations.

I was in the middle of building two start-ups, leading teams, and constantly pushing forward. I didn’t know how not to keep going.

Slowing down simply wasn’t an option - not in my world, and not in my own mindset.

Learning to Reset

Working in health and longevity, I already had a solid foundation - I moved, ate well, slept reasonably, and took care of myself. But I realised I needed to go deeper.

What I was missing was true recovery — not just physically, but mentally.

Cryotherapy has long been my anchor for stress release and energy. But I started building new rituals around rest and balance: protecting my sleep fiercely, allowing slower mornings, taking long walks to clear my head.

Cognitive-supporting supplements like NAD+ and creatine helped me stay mentally sharp when my nights were restless.

Light exposure and daily routines kept my energy stable.

And I learned to breathe. Properly.

It sounds simple, but it changed how I manage stress.

These tools don’t make everything easy, but they help me move through perimenopause with clarity, self-respect, and perspective. I still have nights where I don’t sleep well or moments where my confidence dips - but I also have far better tools to steady myself.

Over time, though, I realised recovery wasn’t only about rest and regulation, it was also about release.

At some point, I realised that the body keeps score. Not just of what happens, but of what we never let go of.

That’s what led me into trauma therapy. Not to relive old stories, but to release what my system was still holding on to.

Years of stress, pressure, and loss don’t just disappear. They settle into the body and shape how we react, think, and even what we believe we’re capable of.

At this stage of life, those old patterns become harder to ignore.

When hormones shift and the body is already in transition, any unresolved tension or “stuck energy” surfaces more clearly. I’ve come to believe that if we don’t address it, we hold ourselves back - mentally, emotionally, and physically.

Working through those layers has been as important for my health as sleep, nutrition, or movement.

It’s what has allowed me to release old narratives and move into this next phase with more openness and flow - both in life and in how I lead.

Redefining Strength

For me, perimenopause isn’t a pause or a problem to fix, it’s a transition.

It’s asking me to live in a new way with more awareness, better boundaries, and a different kind of strength.

I’ve learned that thriving now doesn’t have to mean slowing down.

If anything, I’m pushing harder than ever but with better tools to balance it.

To understand what my body and mind need, and to create space for recovery, reset, and rebuild without losing momentum.

And while this chapter has challenged me more deeply than I ever expected, it’s also given me something I didn’t know I needed: a more grounded, honest relationship with myself — and with my surroundings.

I’m still in it, still learning, still adapting, but I no longer see it as losing who I was.

It’s becoming a stronger, clearer version of who I am, and learning to lead from that place - with more honesty, trust in my own resilience, and hopefully inspiring others to do the same.

If You Recognise Yourself in This Shift

If parts of this story feel familiar, you don’t need a full diagnosis to start taking yourself seriously.

You also don’t need to wait until everything feels “bad enough” to justify doing something about it.

You can start small, and you can start now.

Here are a few places to begin — or to reflect:

Notice the pattern, not just the bad days.

Keep track of your sleep, mood, cycle, energy and focus for a few weeks. Are there moments where your confidence dips for “no reason”? Do certain days or situations feel harder than they used to? Naming the pattern is often the first step to changing it.

Get curious about your biology.

If you suspect hormones are part of the picture, speak to your doctor or a hormone-informed practitioner. Ask specific questions. Bring notes. You’re not being difficult — you’re being responsible. Understanding what’s going on in your body can turn vague worry into something you can act on.

Seek proper testing and qualified advice.

Comprehensive hormone testing and a structured consultation can give you a much clearer map than a quick GP visit or a random supplement you saw on Instagram. If you’re based in or around Copenhagen, this is exactly the kind of journey we work with at One Thirty Labs: connecting advanced testing with personalised advice and ongoing support. Whether it’s with us or another trusted clinic, the important thing is that you don’t try to “power through” on guesswork alone.

Audit your foundations.

Be honest about your current basics: sleep, movement, nutrition, alcohol, stress. Where are you already strong? Where are you consistently overstretched? Choose one small, non-negotiable change — 30 minutes more sleep, a daily walk, less evening screen time — and protect it.

Treat recovery as a skill, not a reward.

Rest is not something you “earn” at the end of a perfect day. It is part of how you stay effective. What helps your nervous system reset — breathwork, nature, therapy, journalling, a weekly class, saying no a bit more often? Make at least one of those things a deliberate part of your week.

Update your inner narrative.

Notice the stories you tell yourself when things feel harder: “I’m failing”, “I can’t handle this anymore”, “Everyone else is coping better”. What if the more accurate story is: “My system is under a different kind of load, and I’m learning new tools to carry it”? How would you treat yourself differently from that place?

Let someone in.

You don’t have to carry this alone. Share what you’re experiencing with someone you trust — a friend, partner, colleague, or professional. Often, the moment we put words to what’s happening, we realise just how many others are going through something similar.

Over the coming months, I’m also building a small community for women in this phase of life — a space to share experiences, learn more about hormones, and support each other through this invisible shift.

If that sounds like something you’d like to be part of, just reach out to me.

Perimenopause and menopause will look different for each of us.

But whatever your version of this invisible shift looks like, you’re not “too much” and you’re not “not enough”.

You’re in a transition that deserves both respect and support, including from yourself.

And the earlier you start listening, the more agency you’ll have in how you move through it, in your private life and in your career.