I Quit My Job With No Plan. Now, I’ve Built A Work Life I Actually Love #1

I didn’t have a five-year plan. I just knew I wanted out.

Out of the 9–5, out of the office, out into the world.

I quit my job and changed my LinkedIn title and suddenly, I was a freelancer.

But what I didn’t know then was how much that decision would change me.

What does it actually take to go from doubting your value… to owning it completely?

I Didn’t Dream of Being My Own Boss

Unlike many freelancers, it was never my dream to be my own boss. I started because I dreamed of traveling and working while exploring the world.

It was right after the pandemic, and I had spent so much time indoors, staring at the same walls, craving change.

I started fantasizing about doing the same work, just with a better view.

Overlooking lemon fields in Portugal. Taking a gym class at 11AM in Barcelona, in Spanish.

Jumping into the ocean in Greece between meetings in November.

Visiting co-working spaces around the world and meeting people I never would’ve crossed paths with otherwise.

So I quit my job. And I changed my LinkedIn title.

It was 2021, two years after finishing my degree. I went from Project Manager to Social Media Manager: a quiet, digital declaration that I was ready to work differently.

Back then, I used to send every important email to my fiancé before hitting send, especially if it involved an offer.

“Can you just… make it sound a bit more confident?” I’d ask, hovering while he read.

Without fail, he’d change every “I think I can…” to “I can.” And every time, I’d feel a small twist in my stomach. Why couldn’t I say it like that myself?

He’d also delete the final line I always included: “Hope that makes sense.”

He’d just look at me and say, “Of course it makes sense.”

Looking back, those edits were about more than just email etiquette.

That moment marked the beginning of a much bigger shift going from “I think I can” to “I know I can.”

This is the story of that transformation and the four biggest lessons I’ve learned as a self-employed woman: about freedom, confidence, negotiation, and money.

1. Freedom Isn't Always What You Expect

Self-employment gave me freedom.

Not just the freedom to decide when or where to work but the freedom to listen to my body, my creativity, and my energy.

It meant I could take a break when I had my period. Work from a countryside hotel bed when I needed rest. Or batch a week’s worth of work into one focused day when I felt inspired.

But with that freedom came something I didn’t expect: loneliness.

In the beginning, I was completely on my own. No team. No Slack pings. No one to bounce ideas off.

And over time, I realized that even though I had built a life around flexibility, I missed learning from others. I missed being in community.

Almost like when you’re on the dating market, loneliness can make you lower your standards.

I ended up saying yes to things that weren’t right for me, including going back to a traditional 9–5.

I told myself I needed structure. I missed working with people. I thought it would help me grow.

I was promised mentorship, a team, development.

But instead, I found myself doing work I didn’t believe in surrounded by people who didn’t really understand or value what I brought to the table.

So I did what I’ve learned to do in moments like this: I stepped back and took stock.

That might be something I do often now I try something, I learn, I adjust.

I pivot, I reflect, I grow again.

Now, four years into freelancing, I’ve come to understand how I actually work best:

• I thrive with structure but get restless when things feel too rigid.
• I love the energy of an office, but need solo days at home to recharge.
• I’m confident in my work, but still crave thoughtful feedback.
• I’m highly focused when I need to be, but I also love having a hand in everything.
• I don’t like being told what to do, but I love knowing what’s expected of me.

These days, I work much more collaboratively. And yes, that means less control over my time but it also brings so much more depth to the work.

Because I’ve learned that true freedom is having the power to choose how you work even if that means choosing structure, feedback, and shared responsibility.

2. Becoming My Own Biggest Cheerleader

In the beginning, I second-guessed everything.

Reaching out to someone felt terrifying. I’d think, “She barely remembers me I can’t just write to her.” Or, “Why would they want to work with me?”

So I wouldn’t. Or if I did, I’d write it in a way that sounded more like an apology than a pitch.

But when you’re self-employed, no one’s going to do it for you.

You have to be the one who follows up. Who pitches. Who sends the email that says, “Here’s what I do, and here’s why I believe in it.”

Over time, I shifted.

Now, if I vaguely remember someone from an event I write to them.

If I hear about a brand I’d love to work with I pitch them.

If a friend of a friend might be connected to something exciting I ask for the intro.

I don’t wait for permission. I don’t wait until I feel “ready.”

I reach out because I’ve learned that showing up is the work.

Self-employment made me realize something most people don’t get to learn until much later in their careers:

That if you don’t believe in your own work, no one else will either.

That clarity, conviction, and enthusiasm matter just as much as skill.

That you don’t just have to be good at what you do you have to believe you’re good at what you do.

In a traditional job, that kind of confidence might take ten years to build.

Freelancing forced me to build it much sooner not because I had to fake it, but because I had to find it.

That said, I’m not claiming I have it all figured out. I’m always learning.

But so is social media. So is the market. So is the world.

Still, that doesn’t mean I should sell myself short or downplay what I know.

I’ve learned that we’re all ever-evolving and just because I haven’t reached some imaginary “final destination”, it doesn’t mean I don’t know my shit.

3. Negotiation Is Self-Respect in Action

To build on that last point: one of the biggest things freelancing taught me is how to negotiate.

Most people only negotiate their salary a few times in their lives.

I can easily do it weekly.

And when you do something often, you get better at it.

You learn to approach it with more clarity, less emotional weight and, most importantly, without apologizing.

As a young woman working in social media, I’ve noticed that people often don’t take either seriously enough.

Social media is still somehow considered “fluffy” even though it’s one of the most powerful tools in branding and business today.

Everyone wants it to work. But very few want to pay for what it’s really worth.

In the beginning, I’d get asked to handle everything: organic content, paid ads, influencer marketing, newsletters, community management…

All under the umbrella of “just a few hours a week.”

And the offer? Often less than what a full-time job would pay per hour.

I knew I had work ahead of me not just in doing the job well, but in educating people on its value.

Luckily, not all companies are like this. And over time, I learned one of the most important lessons in business:

If someone undervalues your work from the beginning, the collaboration will never be fruitful or fun.

So now, I walk away early before things get murky.

Because when you’re self-employed, you negotiate constantly.

With new clients. With long-term clients. With collaborators. Sometimes even with yourself.

It’s not once a year in a performance review.

It’s weekly. Sometimes daily.

And if you’re not comfortable talking about money, someone else will decide what you’re worth.

Learning to negotiate wasn’t just about business. It was about boundaries.

It was about realizing that clear is kind, and that being honest about your value isn’t rude it’s respectful.

I had to unlearn the instinct to shrink myself to be liked and replace it with the ability to state my worth without flinching.

Now, I write my own offers. I name my price. I ask for what I need.

And I’ve learned this: negotiating well doesn’t make you arrogant it makes you professional.

It’s not about being cold or demanding. It’s about being clear.

4. Unlearning the Undervalue

In the beginning, I just wanted to land something. Anything.

I undercharged. I overdelivered. I bent myself in all directions to prove I was worth it.

And even though I was technically building a business, my self-worth took a hit.

Over time, I started to recognize the real value I bring not just in hours worked, but in skills, experience, and results.

I’ve learned that making good money doesn’t make you greedy it means you’re clear on your worth.

And part of that worth isn’t just what I do it’s how I do it.

I bring good energy into the room. I work well with people. I care about creating a space that feels fun, collaborative, and inspiring.

So now I don’t just feel confident in the work I deliver I like to believe it’s genuinely enjoyable to work with me.

And that’s worth something too.

That said, I’m still on the journey.

I grew up with the belief that money comes from hard work. And to some extent, that’s true.

But I’m learning that money also comes from being great at what you do, and knowing how to communicate that.

These days, I’m shifting toward more strategy-driven partnerships.

Not just selling my hours, but selling my thinking. My ideas. My vision.

And I’ll be honest: it’s a big job to rewire your relationship with money.

To believe that ease and abundance can coexist.

To trust that you don’t have to hustle nonstop to deserve income.

But I’m working on it, and I know it’s worth it.

What I Would Tell My Younger Self

If I could go back, I’d tell her this:

You don’t need to have it all figured out. You don’t need to know every answer.

But you do need to trust that you’ll grow into the version of yourself who does.

Self-employment has changed how I see work , but even more, it’s changed how I see myself.

And honestly, I don’t even have to look back that far to be proud.

There are days I look at where I am now and think, “Wow, Sæ! would you have believed this just two years ago?”

I’m not just someone who can do the work.

I’m someone who knows she can.

What I’ve learned is that no five-year plan I’ve ever written has held.

What has held is my gut feeling, and the choice to listen to it.

Every time I’ve said yes to something just because it sounded like the right thing to do, it turned out not to be right at all.

But when I’ve said yes to what felt exciting, fun, a little out of reach, it’s brought me to the best places.

It’s introduced me to the most inspiring people.

It’s brought me opportunities my younger self - even with her big dreams - couldn’t have imagined.

So here’s to following your gut.

It knows.

I didn’t start freelancing because I dreamed of being my own boss.

I started because I dreamed of traveling, of working while exploring the world.

Now, I’m still a freelancer, but for a completely different reason.

Because I’ve built a work life that suits me. A rhythm I’ve learned by doing.

And that, to me, is the real dream.

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