Self-Love is a Superpower - So Practice It

Growing up in a small village in Uganda, Mary was just 9-years-old when her family moved to Denmark.

In the face of so many challenges, she is proof that self-love and intuition are transformative superpowers.

From Personal Practice to Global Movement

Founder of the enterprise She for She which produces and distributes menstrual products in Uganda, Mary promotes freedom and employment for women who, without her enterprise, would be unable to attend school, take exams, play football, and have access to the freedom they deserve.

She is an activist, influencer and feminist, meaning female empowerment is at the heart of everything she does.

Without self-love, Mary says, none of her achievements would be possible.

Step 1: Practice self-love

Self-love is more than just a buzzword – it’s critical for growth. It’s the building block to unlocking your passions, potential and goals.

As a self-love advocate, Mary explains: "We need to embrace and celebrate ourselves as women.”

She added: “I’m sure I would not have become the woman I am today if I could not fully accept what I look like and how I am as a person. I think to gain success in this world you really have to sit down, love yourself and respect yourself. Tell yourself that you’re good enough as you.”

But self-love is more than just your Instagram feed demanding that you celebrate yourself – it’s a mindful practice promoting individual self-esteem.

So what does it look like in practice?

“It’s mainly about owning yourself and not being apologetic about what you’re like and not like. So instead of saying, 'oh I wish I had this’, say, ‘I have this and I’m going to love it.’”

From meditation, positive self-talk, to putting on nice clothes that make you feel good, it is a continuous journey that requires nurturing before becoming a hardwired and automatic feeling.

“Loving myself the way I do” Mary says, “can only be an inspiration to women who do not see themselves in magazines and who have lived their life thinking they are not good enough. It’s a testament to them to be like girl, maybe you don’t look like whoever in a magazine, but you are beautiful.”

Step 2: Listen to your intuition

For Mary, intuition is a powerful source of inspiration and her key piece of advice is plain and simple – listen to it.

“You have to trust yourself” she explains. “You have to trust your ideas and you have to trust your intuition. You have to trust that when your body’s saying something to you, listen to it. When your brain is saying do this but your heart says do this, listen to it.”

Next is about putting your intuition to work.

This means realising your potential and taking action on your ideas.

Whether that’s making a career change, moving abroad or simply deciding to remove old habits.

Mary strongly believes that when she has an idea, there is a reason she, of all people, has the idea.

“I trust that because I have this idea, I’m capable of fulfilling the idea. Usually when I listen, amazing things come out of it.”

Step 3: Surround yourself with an army of women

You can’t do everything on your own. Whether it’s colleagues, friends or family, finding a strong support system to bounce ideas off and who accompany you towards your dream is crucial.

So, you have a list of to-dos, but how do they get done?

“You find a way to navigate through the projects you have and you do this with other friends. You have a planner, a to-do list” Mary explains.

“I have a friend who reads through my captions and my emails. I have a friend who I call about a contract. I have another friend for photoshoots.”

Instagram is deceiving, Mary explained, and she doesn’t claim to be a one-woman show.

“I always tell people I have an army of women who see potential in me and give me time to see me grow. There’s nothing more beautiful than having people around you who do not doubt your dreams but see you in the light you want to be seen in.”

Women supporting other women is therefore the vital fuel to any endeavour – utilise them, because that’s where the magic happens.

Step 4: Make realistic promises to yourself

There’s nothing worse than setting unrealistic expectations on yourself, only for them to not be met and leaving you deflated and unmotivated.

So make promises to yourself, but, “do not lie to yourself. Don’t say you’re going to start a business or go to the gym today if you’re not going to do it. Your body will not trust you anymore so when you say things to yourself you can’t do, you’re lying to yourself. It’s the worst betrayal you can do to yourself.”

Step 5: Make a vision board

It might sound cheesy and cliché, but if you want to stick to your promises, Mary suggests making a vision board.

“One of the things I love to do is vision boards. It’s one of my favourite things to do because I feel when I write things down, I make them happen because I promise to make them happen."

We all get distracted by the day-to-day tasks, but having a visual reminder will keep you on track to manifest the long-term desires you want to achieve.

Step 6: Don’t shy away from discussing money – talk about it!

Many women do not enjoy discussing money, and research by Merrill Lynch and Age Wave reveals that women would prefer to talk about their own death than about money.

But how can women establish the freedom and choice they deserve if they feel uncomfortable discussing the means by which to achieve it?

For Mary, being unapologetic with friends about how to earn and spend your money is key.

“It has become my mission now to talk a lot about money, to talk about becoming a millionaire and about earning money. It should be a normal conversation we have with each other.”

It’s also about breaking down taboos around money. Mary says “it’s fine to love doing something, but it’s also good to get money while doing it.”

Save the relationship and gossip chats for another day...

The ripple effect of self-love

Mary is living proof that cultivating self-love is the first step to unlocking your freedom and that the ripple effect of self-belief is transformative, both individually and collectively.

It is the foundation of any endeavour, and in Mary’s case, equipped her with the motivation and determination to not only create an enterprise, but establish an individual sense of freedom and control.

But the ripple effect of self-love doesn’t end there.

It touches everyone we meet, and has astounding repercussions.

Mary’s self-belief spilled over into providing independence to the women she employs in Uganda, and her social impact is huge.

With generous doses of self-love, our ability to change the world expands.

"You can’t pour from an empty cup” is a cliché for a reason.

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