You Owe It To All Of Us To Protest, Kim Kardashian
The other day, I stumbled upon a youtube video with the reality star Kim Kardashian and her husband, rapper Kanye West.
They sit in their gigantic, minimalist house and ask each other questions about their home.
Which room do you like best?
The dressing room - no, the living room.
What do you like most about our bathroom?
The good selfie light that removes cellulite.
At one point, Kim Kardashian asks her husband, "Which part do you value most in our home?" (what is your most prized possession?)
How Kanye West Says, "You"
What does Kim Kardashian do? How does she react to being called his property? His possession?
She smiles and flashes her big brown eyes and says "Oh thank you."
You could interpret a lot of things about that little scene.
But to let such a comment fly by without protesting - or at least making a humorous protest - hurts to watch. At least for me.
There are still many societies where the woman is literally considered the man's property.
There are even parts of your own community where men still - without being fully aware of it - consider their wife their property, their possession.
It is the battle underlying the cultural perception of the woman, as having a lesser value or status, which can cause men to beat their wives, to become unreasonably dominant in conflicts and in divorces, to rape their partners - and even, in the extreme, to kill their wives.
Back to Kim K and Kanye. There may be several reasons why a woman lets such a harmful comment fly.
Maybe she's a little stupid and doesn't pick it up.
She may be historically ignorant.
And then there is the very great danger that she will leave it at risk because she is ´sweet´ and conflicted.
Without knowing Kim Kardashian too well, I guess she falls into the latter category.
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- A lot of women fall into that category.
- She looks hesitant and as if she is thinking about it - like she's considering whether to protest it.
- She refers to herself as sweet.
I'll just explain the last one.
In another video, Kim Kardashian is asked to describe herself in three words. She replies: “sweet, clever and kind”.
When a girl or a woman chooses to refer to herself as “cute” or “sweet”, my alarm bells start to go off.
“Sweet” comes from the princess universe. It is related to pink and glitter and braids. It's related to females nodding in agreement and not speaking, sitting like a mermaid with her legs up under her and blinking with big eyes - just like Kim Kardashian does in the video.
Kim Kardashian chooses both the words “sweet” and “kind” when she describes herself, which in a way is a little double-stated. It tells me that being perceived as submissive and innocent is a very important to her.
What's wrong with striving to be nice?
Sweet hampers you. Sweet slows you down. Sweet destroys your future.
There are too many things that you can't do or say because it's not cute.
- You can't protest when someone calls you a possession because it's not cute.
- You can't demand a pay rise because it's not cute.
- You can't take on a power struggle at work because it's not cute.
- You can't demand that the man take his share of the housework because it's not cute.
- You can't demand that your partner pays into your pension when you go on maternity leave for you because it's not cute.
- You can't fire an employee because it's not cute.
- You can't quit your job, because it's not nice for your employer, and therefore not cute.
- You can't protest when a man refers to you as your property, because it's not cute, creating conflict in a loving moment.
There are so many superior words that we can instead choose to describe ourselves. Here comes just a handful: ambitious, creative, intelligent, clever, charming, well-read, decisive, refined, elegant, tough, inventive, controlled, brave...
What three words would you use to describe yourself? Look at your words carefully and consider how they reflect your values, how you would like to be perceived and how they influence your actions.
Does that word allow you claim your right? To learn how to invest? To take a stand on gender roles? To speak out and set boundaries?
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Also read: Maybe You're Richer Than You Think
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